TV's Best Duos

When fellow TV blogger and friend Scooter McGavin from Scooter McGavin's 9th Green asked me to take part in his quest to find the best duos on TV, I excitedly and carefully poured over my list. He collected mine and the lists of several other bloggers and came up with a final collection of the top 25. Here is the final list:

The 25 Best Duos on Television

(My Picks are in bold)

1. Coach Eric and Tami Taylor (Friday Night Lights)

2. Liz Lemon and Jack Donagy (30 Rock)
3. Sheldon Cooper Ph.D. and Penny (The Big Bang Theory)
4. Jim Halpert and Dwight Shrute (The Office)
5. Patty Hewes and Ellen Parsons (Damages)
6. Dr. Temperance “Bones” Brennan and Special Agent Seeley Booth (Bones)
7. Emerson Cod and Olive Snook (Pushing Daisies)
8. Blair Waldolf and Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl)
9. Shawn Spencer and Burton “Gus” Guster (Psych)
10. Chuck Bartowski and Special Agent Sarah Walker (Chuck)
11. Sam and Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
12. Marc St. James and Amanda Tannen (Ugly Betty)
13. Barney Stinson and Ted Mosbey (How I Met Your Mother)
14. Bill Adama and Laura Roslin (Battlestar Galactica)
15. Landry Clark and Tyra Colette (Friday Night Lights)
16. Ben Linus and John Locke (Lost)
17. John “J.D.” Dorian M.D. and Dr. Christopher Turk (Scrubs)
18. Sookie Stackhouse and Bill Compton (True Blood)
19. Jeff Patel and Lester Barnes aka Jeffster (Chuck)
20. James “Sawyer” Ford and Juliet Burke (Lost)
21. Homer and Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)
22. Bill Adama and Saul Tigh (Battlestar Galactica)
23. Richard Cypher and Kahlan Amnell (Legend of the Seeker)
24. Earl and Randy Hickey (My Name Is Earl)
25. Michael Westen and Fiona Glenanne (Burn Notice)

Voters: Dan, Ducky, Kath, Matt, Sandie, Scooter McGavin, TVFan, Vance

For the record, I also included Olivia Benson & Elliot Stabler (Law & Order: SVU), Allison & Joe DuBois (Medium), and Brenda Leigh Johnson and Agent Fritz Howard (The Closer)

Special thanks to Scooter for putting together the list. So, what do you think? Who makes your list? Leave us a comment with your picks.

The Countdown Turns to Crime

Last week, we took a look at the first episodes to make the summer-long countdown of The Best Episodes of the Season. Before we get to this week's entries, here's a look at the rules for this year's winners. LillyKat and I ended up with 36 incredible episodes that demonstrate the diversity and quality of the current television state. The shows and their episodes are from both NETWORK and CABLE television. All episodes aired between June 2007 and June 2008. Each episode that made the final list moved us in some way; either by making us laugh out loud, cry our eyes out or just left us with that "wow" feeling that stays with you for a few days. So basically, it's completely subjective! Since this is a summer-long countdown to the number 1 episode, we will reveal a few each week all summer. So, be sure to tune in every Thursday to find out which episodes are on the countdown! Today, we're going to take a look at numbers 33-31.

33: "The Dark Defender" - Dexter
Technically, we didn't officially cover the second season of Dexter here at PTR. But since we will be covering the third season from the get-go, and we reviewed the first season this past spring (thanks CBS), we figured it appropriate to include at least a few eps on our countdown from Dex's second go-around. "The Dark Defender" is one such ep for two key reasons: 1) Dex learns the man who killed his mother is still alive, and thus, is forced to face him down; 2) he's being perceived as somewhat of a hero by the greater citizens of Miami for disposing of the dregs of society. Hence the comic book-esque Dark Defender characterization. When an ep calls into question the two ongoing issues with which Dex consistently struggles - his acceptance in the world, and his days as a child - and thus has to do some serious soul searching, it's is a winner for me. Written by Tim Schlattmann and directed by Keith Gordon. - LillyKat, PTR Senior Staff Writer

32: "World's End" - Cold Case
Not every show hits the 100 episode milestone. When it does, a celebration ensues as does a commemorative episode. Cold Case hit 100 eps with "World's End" this past season, and it was a classic for all of the right reasons. A tale of love and jealousy set amongst the chaos that was the Orson Wells' "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast on October 30, 1938, this is what Cold Case does best: they take us to another time and place in history, teach us something about ourselves and the human condition through a detective's eyes, then leave us wanting more. In recent seasons, they've shifted their emphasis away from these fundamentals and, instead, overdosed on newer cases, turned Lilly into a zombie, and chose formula over fortitude. This show can be better. It has been better. Thus, when an ep like "World's End" comes around, it is a reminder of how good the show can be - especially when they make room to fit in personal detective anecdotes. And whenever they bring back memories of second season's “Factory Girls” and “Red Glare” (flawless production value), or first season's "Churchgoing People" (Lilly’s role play interrogation at the end with the older Felton), it's going to score high marks with me. Written by Gavin Harris and directed by Roxann Dawson - LillyKat, PTR Senior Staff Writer

31: "Let's Get it On" - Friday Night Lights
Let's face it -- the Dillon Panthers were not the same without Coach Taylor. So, it was nice to have him back in the blue polo. And yet, as happy as I was to have Coach Taylor back in Dillon, I still had that ugly conflicted/torn feeling in the pit of my stomach when Coach McGregor lost his job. Obviously, he needed to go, but he kinda/sorta/definitely got a raw deal. Coach Taylor is a good guy, and he may not have been directly responsible for McGregor's ouster, but he was responsible enough to feel guilty about the way it went down. And then there was the beautifully executed Jason in Mexico story line. He was so desperate to find a cure for his paralysis he was willing to try the experimental shark stem cells. Good thing Tim and Lyla were there to make sure he didn't go through with it. The beach scene they shared was nothing short of brilliant and a classic example of why this show is so good. Written by Patrick Massett and John Zinman and directed by David Boyd.

So, there's a look at the second set of episodes on the countdown. What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Leave us a comment with your thoughts. And be sure to tune in next Thursday for #30-28 on the list.

While we're on the topic of "Best Of," it's time to reveal your favorite Scrubs quote from this year's Best of the Scrubies Poll. And the winner is (with 33% of the vote).... drum roll please...

"Really??!! Did he also tell you to take your trunks off, Turk? Because the last thing a guy wants to see when he's in a splash pool is his best friend's junk heading towards him at 40 mph! Felt like I got pistol whipped." JD recounting a water slide encounter with Turk

A HUGE thanks to everyone who voted in this year's poll.

3rd Annual Best of The Scrubies

It's summer, and that means no new Scrubs episodes on NBC ever again (we'll have to switch over to ABC along with our favorite Sacred Heart docs). But, I have good news for you faithful PTR readers -- today, we're going to revisit some of this season's best lines. And just as you did in years past, you'll be able to vote for your favorite line of the season. So settle in and prepare to laugh your booty off once again as PTR presents the Best of the Scrubies Awards! And the nominations for Best/Most Awesome/Funniest Line/Exchange of the Year are:

#1 "I would Turkelton, but I only play Pac-Man and that carjack game. There's nothing like scoring a Caddy and mowing down street hoes." Dr. Kelso to Turk regarding video games

#2 "I would give her a shot, Perry, but this is Scotch and I'm all Hasselhoff-ed out." Dr. Kelso to Dr. Cox

#3 "I've decided to start calling everyone 'Sports Fans.' Yeah, I know I'm not exactly the jockey type, but I watched Hoosiers last night and I like sports now." JD to the Sacred Heart staff

#4 "Suck on that Tony Shaloub!" JD (narration) after imagining himself winning a Who Caresies Award

#5 "The answer is a sincere, emphatic, 100% definitive, never-been-so-sure-of-anything-in-my-life, unequivocal YES." Dr. Cox to JD on whether he thinks he needs to grow up

#6 "Really??!! Did he also tell you to take your trunks off, Turk? Because the last thing a guy wants to see when he's in a splash pool is his best friend's junk heading towards him at 40 mph! Felt like I got pistol whipped." JD recounting a water slide encounter with Turk

#7 "Of course, I've only been a doctor for some twenty years and the person who wrote that Wikipedia entry also authored the Battlestar Galactica episode guide, so what the heck do I know?" Dr. Cox to a patient who declined chemo because he read on Wikipedia that a raw food diet cures bone cancer

#8 "Perry, how many times do I have to say it? We're tired of your speeches. If you don't stop, I'll have to hire an orchestra to play that awards show music they use to hustle long-winded Hollywood fruitcakes off the stage." Dr. Kelso to Dr. Cox after another one of his long (yet funny) speeches

#9 "Rate Dr. Reid's butt??!! Yes, 9.2!! Thank god this hospital's full of white guys." Eliot after seeing the writing on the bathroom wall

#10 "Wow, Turk's pretty quick without that testicle weighing him down. I wonder if Olympic athletes have ever thought of that?" JD (narration)

#11 "That's terrific because I'm so darn lost I just keep procrastinating. I check my email. I pick up a copy of Us Weekly to see which of my favorite celebs is bringing back the fedora. It's Johnny Depp, by the way." Dr. Cox to JD and Turk after they say they're going to help him diagnose his patient

#12 "Wow. That takes a lot of ball." JD to Turk (in reference to his recent testicle removal)

#13 "Much like one-hit-wonder Natalie Imbruglia, I'm torn." Dr. Cox to JD and Turk on child rearing

Now, it's your turn to decide which quote you think was the best of the season. Simply vote in the poll below, and I'll reveal the results next week! So, which Scrubs quote deserves the Best/Most Awesome/Funniest Line/Exchange of the Year Ultimate Scrubie? Click your choice below.

Which SCRUBS quote gets your vote for the Best Quote of the Year?
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And this is only the beginning of the "Best Of" season here at PTR. Starting next Thursday, the 3rd Annual Best Episodes of the Season Countdown will begin! Which episodes will make the list? Which will be number one? Be sure to tune in next Thursday for the kick off!

'Scrubs' Goes Medieval

That. Was. AWESOME!!! So awesome, that I'm willing to overlook the random "Dr. Kelso's back and seems to have never left" weirdness (which, I can only explain away by assuming NBC aired the episodes out of order). But seriously, who cares. There was too much awesomeness during this Princess Bride-inspired outing to let something like network idiocy spoil the fun. And oh what fun is was! If there was ever a need for proof as to why this show deserves a proper send off, this was it. The entire fairytale backdrop was beyond incredible. It was funny, clever, original and well, simply hilarious! You know what else was hilarious? Everything from the gang staying still so The Todd gets confused, Keith continuing to agonize over Elliot, JD's gloating, the Lost smoke monster making a cameo, "Turla" and their alternating words and shared female problems, "Sasha" the scooter playing the part of the donkey, Janitor as the giant, Village Idiot (JD) and Princess (Elliot) trying to kiss but not being able to reach because they're shackled to the dungeon wall, Laverne, and every single awesome detail of the fairytale story. Here's this week's best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this edition of the Scrubies [NOTE: Every line should have been nominated, but in the interest of time, here is just a sampling].

The Scrubies
"Much like one-hit-wonder Natalie Imbruglia, I'm torn." Dr. Cox to JD and Turk on child rearing

"What's the monster like? Is he nice??" Village Idiot (JD) to the Brave Knight (Perry) after Brave Knight gets beaten

"Are you outta your mind, woman?! We only got one ball!" Turk to Carla while they were joined together as "Turla"

"Your ass is bleeding." Princess (Elliot) to Village Idiot (JD) while riding his donkey Sasha
"Sasha!! Are you OK?" Village Idiot
"No, Idiot. Your ass is bleeding." Princess

"To Sasha!" JD after finding the Golden Ring

If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, be sure to leave me a comment.

Catch up on this and other outings of Scrubs with full-length, free episodes at Hulu.com.

'Scrubs' Gets a Fairytale Ending

But is it forever?? That is the question of the day. One thing is for sure -- Scrubs wraps up its 7-year run on NBC tonight. But reports are still swirling that it will continue next season on ABC. In the meantime, the show pays tribute to the 80s classic The Princess Bride. Thanks to the good folks at BNC PR, I have a clip from tonight's finale that also includes an interview with star (and episode director) Zach Braff:



Don't miss tonight's finale at 8:30 EST on NBC. As usual, PTR will have the best and funniest lines from the episode tomorrow.

'Scrubs' Brings Out the Old Ball and Chain

Last week, Dr. Kelso retired on his terms (thankfully he made an appearance, although brief, in tonight's episode). This week, Dr. Cox inherited his position, problems and paperwork. Oh, I think I'm going to enjoy Chief Dr. Cox. Even if I hadn't laughed watching him simultaneously bask in his new title (complete with a power trip) and lament the extra work it creates, there were plenty of other funnies to keep me laughing. We had: Dr. Kelso's office being used as "The Brain Trust Clubhouse," Turk's implant, "Ball Mart," Elliot's sorority nickname (CDC = Crying Drunk Chick), Turk's mishap with the champaign bottle, Ted's flashback, JD's speaker prank at the fast food drive-thru, Janitor and Ted's sitcom Legal Custodians, Ted growing a pair and revolting (which led to his own Brain Trust), and probably a host of other funny things that happened during the first couple of minutes when my local station mistakenly ran ER instead of Scrubs, realized their mistake and abruptly cut into Scrubs (sadly, NBC actually OWNS my local NBC!). But, I digress. And now, here's this week's best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this edition of the Scrubies. And since I was out of town last week, this means a double dose of Scrubies for you guys this week!

The Scrubies
"Wow. That takes a lot of ball." JD to Turk (in reference to his recent testicle removal)

"Is it because your balance is off? I didn't want to say anything, but you have been turning left more often than usual." JD to Turk after finding out that Turk's getting a testicular implant

"I've gotta stop with the long fantasies. They're never worth it." JD regarding his overactive imagination

"I can't help but go to a dark place, you know? We're already blessed with this beautiful, healthy daughter, but what if the amnio comes back and it's the worst possible news - it's another girl." Turk to Dr. Cox on the possibility of having a second child

"I'm just doing this thing where I use a slice of wisdom from someone else's life to solve a problem in my own life." JD to Dr. Cox and Jordan
"Seems coincidental." Jordan
"And yet, I do it almost every week." JD

"I mean so psyched, that I even caused some Middle Eastern man to get kidnapped and driven away. Which is probably the exact sort if thing he came to this country to avoid." Elliot to JD regarding their drive-thru prank


And Here Are Last Week's Scrubie Recipients
"Oh my god! That was amazing! I never felt so alive in my whole life!" JD to Turk after the two of them played a little trick on Dr. Cox (who was having a bad day because he couldn't diagnose his patient)
"My heart stopped for a second!" Turk to JD
"We made it. I love you man!" JD to Turk
"I love you too!" Turk to JD

"I keep thinking about Kelso. He reminds me of my grandpa. He's perv-y, demeaning, and an insy bit racist, but you crave his love anyway because he smells like peppermint." Elliot to Carla regarding Dr. Kelso's forced retirement

"That's terrific because I'm so darn lost I just keep procrastinating. I check my email. I pick up a copy of Us Weekly to see which of my favorite celebs is bringing back the fedora. It's Johnny Depp, by the way." Dr. Cox to JD and Turk after they say they're going to help him diagnose his patient

"Turk, focus. We're being insulted! I'm tired of you not focusing when someone insults us. It ends up all on me!" JD to Turk

If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, be sure to leave me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition.

Catch up on this and other outings of Scrubs with full-length, free episodes at Hulu.com.

'Scrubs' Proves its Manhood

You know men and their obsession with proving their manhood -- it's a never ending quest. But, watching JD (a.k.a. every girl's name ever invented) competing for his, while Turk tried to regain his was classic! Of course, they each had their own reasons: JD wanted to teach his infant son about being a man and Turk wanted to feel like a man again after losing a testicle in a tragic encounter with daughter Izzie. But it wasn't just the episode-long manhood competition that was classic. We also had remote wrestling, "The Janitorial," Rate Dr. Reid's Butt, the over-ambitious idea of a tri-daily Janitorial, invisible Ted, The Todd's "Entire Coffebucks 5," Squat & Surf (the act of surfing the net while sitting on the toilet), Turk and JD admitting that they are "a little married," all of Eliot's stories ending with "and then he hanged himself," everyone touching Dr. Cox after reading his "interview" in The Janitorial, and Turk's missing testicle (which, for the record, isn't a funny situation, but the way the story came to light, Turk's reaction to JD finding out, and the ensuing conversation between Turk and JD including which testicle went was HILARIOUS!!). As usual, here's this week's best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"Rate Dr. Reid's butt??!! Yes, 9.2!! Thank god this hospital's full of white guys." Eliot after seeing the writing on the bathroom wall

"Check this out. I'm going to take this to Kinko's and get it blown up poster-size." Turk to JD regarding their cover story in The Janitorial about their smackdown
"Get two!" JD to Turk

"You're the only one your son has to model himself after when he's trying to figure out how to be a man and seeing the occasional poster of Paul Mitchell whenever you take him by the beauty salon isn't going to cut it." Dr. Cox to JD

"I think all the ladies in the greater metro area should expect to see about 8 inches." The Todd's weather report for The Janitorial

"How did you get Sam out of daycare?" JD to Dr. Cox
"Put on a wig and a skirt and told them I was you." Dr. Cox

"Wow, Turk's pretty quick without that testicle weighing him down. I wonder if Olympic athletes have ever thought of that?" JD (narration)

If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, be sure to leave me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition.

'Scrubs' is On Fire

Is it just me, or does it feel like an eternity has passed since we last saw an episode of Scrubs??!! I was wracking my brain last night trying to remember one episode from this season, but kept coming up empty. It's just been soooo long! Needless to say, I was very happy to have it back. As usual, there was plenty of funny goodness to make us laugh and welcome back a show that was HUGELY missed. We had Turk and JD giving a celebratory "upstairs" and then "downstairs" (which they both decided was too weird), a water balloon game with the interns that mimicked a popular video game, JD struggling with not saying the word "hot" to a burn victim, Amigoville, Eliot's high school graduation speech, Brinner: breakfast for dinner, JD and the burn victim's original song "I'm Going to Graduation (The Graduation Song)," Dr. Kelso and the cake, Lloyd the ambulance driver, and Janitor giving relationship advice. It all added up to another terrific hour. And now, the long-awaited return of this week's best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"Thank goodness! When you said that, I died a little inside." JD to Turk after Turk jokingly declared that they were getting too old to get excited about sex

"I've got an overweight patient back there who's already had his stomach stapled and is now taking diet medication that gives you painful diarrhea whenever you eat more than 15 grams of fat at one sitting. Anyone want to guess what he's in the hospital for? I'll give you a hint -- it's very painful and it rhymes with 'shmiarrhea.'" Dr. Cox to his colleagues

"Perry, how many times do I have to say it? We're tired of your speeches. If you don't stop, I'll have to hire an orchestra to play that awards show music they use to hustle long-winded Hollywood fruitcakes off the stage." Dr. Kelso to Dr. Cox after another one of his long (yet funny) speeches

"You look absolutely amazing! But, it's kinda hard to beat brinner." Turk to Carla after she reveals what she's wearing under her bathrobe

If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, be sure to leave me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition.

BREAKING NEWS: 'Scrubs' Switching to ABC - UPDATED!

UPDATE (2/29/08): The Hollywood Reporter is now reporting that the show is caught in a tug-of-war between NBC and ABC. The online site writes:

ABC is in negotiations to pick up 18 episodes of the series from ABC Studios, which has produced the comedy for NBC since 2001.

NBC brass are said to have been caught off guard when THR.com broke the story Thursday.

A network insider said NBC is still in "first negotiation period" -- a period of exclusive negotiations -- with ABC Studios.

ABC Studios chose not to respond.

Given the history between NBC and ABC Studios, which have been at odds over the quirky medical comedy since the get-go, industry observers are preparing for an ugly battle between the two over a series considered to be on its final lap.

The original story follows....

Details are still sketchie, but here's the latest breaking news. From The Hollywood Reporter:

Longtime NBC comedy "Scrubs" is heading to rival network ABC. Sources say ABC is in negotiations to pick up 18 episodes of the show from ABC Studios, which has produced the series for NBC since 2001. A broadcast show switching networks, though often discussed during contract renewals, is a rare event. Previous network jumpers include "JAG" (NBC to CBS) and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (The WB to UPN). The writers strike cut short NBC's 18-episode final season order for the Zach Braff medical comedy to 12 episodes. Sources say the network has been reluctant to order additional episodes for next fall, citing the fact that it already has some remaining originals in the can. NBC reportedly floated various end game scenarios to producers, including ordering one final episode, or producing the remaining episodes direct to DVD. Details of the ABC deal are still being hammered out as contracts for most cast members and writers have not been picked up beyond the current season.

More at The Hollywood Reporter. According to the article, NBC plans to air the remaining 5 episodes beginning April 10th.

Janitor Finds a Lady Friend

You know how you pretend to be a better version of yourself when you first start dating someone? You hide your flaws, weird quirks and secret hobbies just in case one or more sabotages the thing before it even takes off. Well, Janitor feels your pain. He didn't just pretend to be a better version of himself, nope; he took it to a whole different level by erasing every thread of himself in order to have a chance with Lady. Normally, I would advocate against losing yourself in a relationship, but in Janitor's case, I think it just might be a good idea. Of course, I'm biased because the story line made me laugh. There were many other things that made me laugh tonight including: Janitor's "smitten voice," the game of "Smelly Belly," the moment JD realized he wanted to be a doctor, everyone's obsession with rateyourdoc.org, Dr. Kelso and his "Muffins for Life" prize, The Todd pretending to be JD and Dr. Kelso's quest to finish the latest Harry Potter book without being spoiled. Now, here's a look at this week's best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"Quick announcement -- I have signed Sacred Heart up for a web site called rateyourdoc.org where patients can evaluate and score their doctors. I think it's going to lead to better patient care and if along the way you all become paranoid and overly competitive, happy birthday to me!" Dr. Kelso to the staff

"Dr. Kelso, I became a doctor to save lives, heal wounds and occasionally, drop the MD bomb to pull hot tail in bars." JD

"Of course, I've only been a doctor for some twenty years and the person who wrote that Wikipedia entry also authored the Battlestar Galactica episode guide, so what the heck do I know?" Dr. Cox to a patient who declined chemo because he read on Wikipedia that a raw food diet cures bone cancer

"Hell, Enid still thinks it's too snowy to go outside. I spray the windows with shaving cream to keep her out of the yard. Her wheelchair tears up the grass." Dr. Kelso to Janitor after proclaiming that lying is the best form of communication between men and women

If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, be sure to leave me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition. And if you were loving tonight's ending song, Jump Little Children's "B-13," you can get it from iTunes.

Dr. Cox Has Feelings Too

No man is an island, right? Well, someone forgot to impart that wisdom onto Dr. Perry Cox. See, he spent most of tonight's episode fighting the notion that he no longer enjoys being alone. His wife and kids were visiting her family (he couldn't go because of a nasty Christmas memory that resulted in a restraining order), and he couldn't even enjoy his day off because he missed them too much. It made for plenty of laughs, but there was also Carla's dream, Dr. Cox's "wave" of excitement over not going to his mother-in-law's for the weekend, Jordan and Perry's fight over who's going to miss who more, JD's Risky Business daydream, "man face," JD's quest to learn everyone's names, and Ted's band doing The Who's "Who Are You." Now, here's a look at this week's best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"Really??!! Did he also tell you to take your trunks off, Turk? Because the last thing a guy wants to see when he's in a splash pool is his best friend's junk heading towards him at 40 mph! Felt like I got pistol whipped." JD recounting a water slide encounter with Turk

"Well done, Dr. John-I-Think-I'm-A-Man-Of-The-People-But-Now-Thanks-To-
The-Janitor-Everyone-Knows-I'm-A-Freud-And-I-Have-Egg-On-My-Face-Dorian." Janitor to JD

"Perfect. Pretend you hate the nickname so it will stick." JD (narration) about his new nickname

"Oh my God! Is this what heaven's like?" JD (narration) after putting his arm around Dr. Cox


And now a reader-submitted Scrubie from last week:
Suekola44 loved Dr. Cox's announcement that Eliot's was Mattel's newest toy - "Hypocrite Barbie"

If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, be sure to leave me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition.

JD Grows Up

No matter what stage of life you're in, I think we all can relate to JD's struggle to grow up. If you're not going through it yourself, then you probably remember when you did. Call it a "quarter-life crisis," if you will. It's that time in your life when you have to transition from being a worry-free kid to a worry-filled adult complete with responsibility and things like baby-proofing your apartment. Thankfully, Scrubs lends a nice helping of humor to this confusing time in JD's life. But that wasn't all of the funny last night. We had: an obsession over the new hospital scale, the return of JD's brother, Janitor's campaign to save the environment, the hypocrites at Sacred Heart, Turk trapped in his Mini Cooper with bees, JD's symphony response to "Do you think I need to grow up?," Carla having to repeat the "You're human" speech from two weeks ago, and JD's broken windshield. Now, here's a look at this week's best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"You know what really sucks?" JD to Turk
"Being trapped in an elevator while you whine about your stupid life?!" Dr. Cox

"Baby, how come you don't point out when I ask good questions?" Turk to Carla
"Because I don't love you like he does." Carla
"Told you!" JD

"Do you think I need to grow up?" JD to Dr. Cox
"Wow. You dream your whole life about that one moment and when it finally comes, you just, you're just not ready for it." Dr. Cox

"The answer is a sincere, emphatic, 100% definitive, never-been-so-sure-of-anything-in-my-life, unequivocal YES." Dr. Cox to JD on whether he thinks he needs to grow up

If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, be sure to leave me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition. If you missed this hilarious outing, check it out on iTunes.

JD Becomes a Big Daddy

The real world prevented me from writing about last week's fabulous season premiere, so this edition of The Scrubies will be super-sized!! But before we get to those, first we need to discuss tonight's hilarious outing. Anyone married/in a serious relationship in their 20s or 30s knows that boys er... men love to play their video games. They'll play them well into the night. They lose large chunks of time. They neglect their significant others until they conquer that one game. Then it ends until they find the next game to take on. Ladies, Carla feels your pain. How funny was that Turk story line tonight?? He was so obsessed and it turns out, Carla was so focused on forgetting that game forever after it overtook her life a few months ago. It even served as Turk and JD's form of "exercise" when JD needed to clear his head about Kim. Too funny. We also had Turk's excitement over becoming a "Bluncle" (black uncle), JD's vision of Men at Work's "Land Down Under," Laverne's "cameo" ("She looks familiar"), Janitor's need for motivation for killing the aliens on the video game, and Dr. Cox's obsession with finding someone else to give his daughter a shot so she wouldn't forever associate him with pain. Now, here's a look at this week's (and last week's) best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this week's edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"I would Turkelton, but I only play Pac-Man and that carjack game. There's nothing like scoring a Caddy and mowing down street hoes." Dr. Kelso to Turk regarding video games

"Oh, thank you Perry-much!" JD (narration) after Perry enters and saves him from a conversation with Kim

"I would give her a shot, Perry, but this is Scotch and I'm all Hasselhoff-ed out." Dr. Kelso to Dr. Cox

"Fine. But if you use the words 'Emotional Rollercoaster,' I am O-U-T." Dr. Cox to JD
"Deal. I just feel like I'm on this, like, emotional....ride of some sort." JD


The Scrubies (Season Premiere Edition)
"Keith?! Wait, I was already surprised out loud." JD (narration) after repeating himself

"And then Carla was like, 'What about Junior Mints?' and I was like, 'Junior Mints??!! Baby, if I want my candy to freshen my breath, I'd just slap some toothpaste on a Whatchamacallit bar and go to town on that bad boy!'" Turk to Eliot on his difficult candy bar decision

"I've decided to start calling everyone 'Sports Fans.' Yeah, I know I'm not exactly the jockey type, but I watched Hoosiers last night and I like sports now." JD to the Sacred Heart staff

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first annual Sacred Heart Who Caresies Awards designed to honor those people who believe that others actually give a rat's ass about the minutiae of their lives." Dr. Cox to the staff after JD announces that he has almost gone an entire day without sabotaging himself

"The weird thing was, I think we all really wanted to win." JD (narration) in response to the Who Caresies

"Suck on that Tony Shaloub!" JD (narration) after imagining himself winning a Who Caresies Award

The Countdown Rolls On and Your Fave Scrubie Revealed

Last week, we took off from the summer-long countdown of The Best Episodes of the Season due to vacation, but this week we're back in business. Before we get to this week's entries, here's a look at the rules for this year's winners. I ended up with 30 incredible episodes that demonstrate the diversity and quality of the current television state. All of the shows and their episodes are from NETWORK television only, meaning that I did not take any cable series into consideration (since I only watch a few and felt that it would be unfair). All episodes aired between September 2006 and June 2007. Each episode that made the final list moved me in some way; either by making me laugh out loud, cry my eyes out or just left me with that "wow" feeling that stays with you for a few days. So basically, it's completely subjective! Since this is a summer-long countdown to the number 1 episode, I will reveal a few each week all summer. So, be sure to tune in every Thursday to find out which episodes are on the countdown! Today, we're going to take a look at numbers 24-22.

24: "New York Fiction" - Men in Trees
I think we all know by now that I'm a sucker for a good romantic comedy. Well, this 2-part episode of Trees played out like the best of the genre. Up to this point, boy met girl (Jack and Marin), but both boy and girl were hesitant to start a relationship. BUT, that changed when girl traveled to New York for Thanksgiving and quickly discovered that dragging her feet was making her unhappy. Meanwhile back in the Alaskan wilderness, boy came to the same conclusion. So, all that stood in the way was a sappy reunion at Elmo's "airport," right? Nope! Something much bigger was about to present itself and it came in the form of Jack's ex-girlfriend who returned to Elmo with a secret. Like any good romantic comedy TV show, just when it seems that the leads are about to finally get together, a brand new obstacle steps in the way to keep things interesting. Written by series creator Jenny Bicks and Anna Fricke and directed by Arvin Brown (pt. 1) and Jeff Melman (pt. 2). (Photo courtesy abc.com)

23: "Rampage" - Cold Case
You know that expression, "starts with a bang?" Well, the fourth season of CC started with a huge one. When the closing credits appeared on my screen, I knew we were in for an excellent season of TV's best crime drama. This episode was moving, but more than anything else, it was disturbing. Two teens open fire at a local mall in order to kill the popular kids who hung out there, and they get the entire thing on tape. In the process, they kill themselves. Kids killing kids is never an easy subject, but this telling was particularly upsetting because we got to know these kids over the course of the hour. The shooting scenes were horrific, and I found myself looking away at times. Still, this one made me think about our society and the violence that consumes it. Luckily, I haven't been desensitized to the point where stories such as this no longer disturb me or leave an impression. And just in case the story was too overwhelming, the show was sure to throw in a cute scene between Lilly and then-boyfriend Joseph ("Better get some sleep now." "Why?" "'Cause you won't get much later!"). Written by executive producer Veena Sud and directed by Mark Pellington. (Screencap courtesy Ruda at Look Again)

22: "Enter 77" - Lost
Since we're pretending that the first half of this show's season never happened, this first entry on the countdown comes from the excellent second half. You know, once the survivors were back together (minus Jack) and everyone was focused on getting Jack back and everything was wonderful once again in the land of Lost. This one had Locke, Kate and Sayid setting out to find their wayward leader. In the process, they stumble upon a house with a surrounding farm and the infamous Eye Patch Man inside. Locke discovers an elaborate set-up in the basement that contains a last resort switch. If the station is compromised, the occupant is to blow it up in order to erase all evidence of its existence. Meanwhile, Sayid is struggling with a flashback involving a woman he helped torture. The focal point of the flashback is a cat that the woman rescued from his own torture. As Sayid finally lets the memory go, he "sees" the cat on the island. Locke, meanwhile, blows up the station; leaving us wondering which side he was really on. Written by executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse and directed by Stephen Williams. (Screencap courtesy Lost-Media)

So, there's a look at episodes 24-22 on the countdown. What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? Leave me a comment with your thoughts. Next week, we break the Top 20!! So, be sure to tune in next Thursday.

POLL RESULTS REVEALED!!! You guys voted for your favorite Scrubs quote of the season in PTR's Best of the Scrubies Poll, and now PTR has your results. And the winner is (with 25% of the vote).... drum roll please...

"You have been wrong about so many things that I'm not even going to say something's wrong anymore. Instead, I'm going to say it's 'Dorian.'" Dr. Cox to JD

The rest of your results follow:
2. (13%) "Jordan, the boy already lip-syncs into your tampons. Must we put the final nail in his tiny gay coffin?" Dr. Cox regarding his son

(13%) "Nothing ever changes. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince is still just Prince, my ex-wife is still pretty much my wife, 'Grey's Anatomy' always wraps up every episode with some cheesy voiceover that ties together all of the story lines, which incidentally is my least favorite device on television, Newbie continually will try to violate my no touching policy, and Republicans will forever try to raise [JD interrupts his speech with a "sneak hug"]... Of course, I would go kill him right now, but he actually just helped to prove my point." Dr. Cox to Eliot after she insists that people change

(13%) "I've seen The Wiggles live in concert. Twice." Dr. Cox to JD regarding how a baby changes everything in your life
"Did they perform 'Big Red Car'?" Turk to Dr. Cox
"They opened and closed the show with it. It was awesome." Dr. Cox

3. (6%) "Nice singlet. Does it come in hetero?" JD to Keith after Keith whipped out his high school wrestling uniform

(6%) "Or taking advice from a big Hollywood movie star and the dead science fiction writer he worships. You need to get some help." Jordan to Carla on her PPD

(6%) "Ah Billy. After the Arctic and Pacific, you're my favorite Ocean." JD after hearing Billy Ocean's "Caribbean Queen" on his scooter's radio

(6%) "'Bull dinky!' Perry Cox. 6'1." A buck 85 after lunch." Dr. Cox to Laverne after she quotes the bible

(6%) "You know Laverne if this were a horror flick, I'd be so scared that I was next. They always kill the black folks off first." Turk to a comatose Laverne

(6%) "You know what? Make it 22 fries." JD ordering at the drive thru after band member Miguel wouldn't stop playing the drums.
"22 fries. You didn't think I'd do it, did you?" JD to Miguel after he ordered fries for everyone except him

A HUGE thanks to everyone who voted!!

Best of the Scrubies

It's summer, and that means no new Scrubs episodes until the fall (thankfully, we're getting the show back this fall for once). So, we're in for a long wait until we get to laugh along with our favorite wacky doctors of Sacred Heart (thank god for the DVD sets!). But, I have good news for you faithful PTR readers -- today, we're going to revisit some of this season's best lines. And just as you did last year, you'll be able to vote for your favorite line of the season. So settle in and prepare to laugh your booty off once again as PTR presents the Best of the Scrubies Awards! And the nominations for Best/Most Awesome/Funniest Line/Exchange of the Year are:

#1 "Here's a novel idea. Why don't you go fetch me a very large cut of coffee with so damn many fake sugars that the coffee itself gets cancer." Dr. Cox to "Coffee Bucks" employee

#2 "That's going to be a little rough on my scooter." JD after learning that Kim got a job in Tacoma, Washington

#3 "You're like a prostitute that gets paid up front then bolts from the restaurant after dinner." Dr. Kelso to Elliot after she left for private practice

#4 "Look, I know you all curl up on your futons at night dreaming of cracking a real-life medical mystery so that some doctor-slash-supermodel will want to touch your eruption button." Dr. Cox to his interns after they referenced television doctors

#5 "Nice singlet. Does it come in hetero?" JD to Keith after Keith whipped out his high school wrestling uniform

#6 "Or taking advice from a big Hollywood movie star and the dead science fiction writer he worships. You need to get some help." Jordan to Carla on her PPD

#7 "You have been wrong about so many things that I'm not even going to say something's wrong anymore. Instead, I'm going to say it's 'Dorian.'" Dr. Cox to JD

#8 "Jordan, the boy already lip-syncs into your tampons. Must we put the final nail in his tiny gay coffin?" Dr. Cox regarding his son

#9 "Ah Billy. After the Arctic and Pacific, you're my favorite Ocean." JD after hearing Billy Ocean's "Caribbean Queen" on his scooter's radio

#10 "Oh my god!! How hard is it for you to use a frickin' coaster you frickin' frickety frick??!! Eliot to Keith

#11 "Damn trannies got me in my sleep!" Dr. Kelso after returning from his trip with a full head of braids

#12 "Nothing ever changes. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince is still just Prince, my ex-wife is still pretty much my wife, 'Grey's Anatomy' always wraps up every episode with some cheesy voiceover that ties together all of the story lines, which incidentally is my least favorite device on television, Newbie continually will try to violate my no touching policy, and Republicans will forever try to raise [JD interrupts his speech with a "sneak hug"]... Of course, I would go kill him right now, but he actually just helped to prove my point." Dr. Cox to Eliot after she insists that people change

#13 "Bull dinky! Perry Cox. 6'1." A buck 85 after lunch." Dr. Cox to Laverne after she quotes the bible

#14 "You know Laverne if this were a horror flick, I'd be so scared that I was next. They always kill the black folks off first." Turk to a comatose Laverne

#15 "I'm glad it's not Marg. It would not end well. Hell hath no fury like a Helgenberger scorned." Janitor (regarding actress Marg Helgenberger) after thinking that Dr. Cox's "starts with an M and ends with an R" clue was referring to the CSI actress

#16 "Lloyd, you're 40 years old and a delivery man, so you should be suffering from a pretty severe case of the Where-did-I-go-wrong-sies." Dr. Cox to his patient

#17 "Now it's really over." Turk to Dr. Cox while they were sending their hypochondriac patient back and forth
"Oh yeah? What'd you do, kill him?" Dr. Cox

#18 "I've seen The Wiggles live in concert. Twice." Dr. Cox to JD regarding how a baby changes everything in your life
"Did they perform 'Big Red Car'?" Turk to Dr. Cox
"They opened and closed the show with it. It was awesome." Dr. Cox

#19 "You know what? Make it 22 fries." JD ordering at the drive thru after band member Miguel wouldn't stop playing the drums.
"22 fries. You didn't think I'd do it, did you?" JD to Miguel after he ordered fries for everyone except him

#20 "Let's cut to the chase Freak Show. If you're a 44 year old man wearing a jumpsuit and you are not climbing into the cockpit of a rocket ship, chances are you made a lot of wrong turns along the way. Good talk." Dr. Kelso to Janitor

Now, it's your turn to decide which quote you think was the best of the season. Simply vote in the poll below, and I'll reveal the results next week! So, which Scrubs quote deserves the Best/Most Awesome/Funniest Line/Exchange of the Year Ultimate Scrubie? Click your choice below.

Which SCRUBS quote gets your vote for the Best Quote of the Year?
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JD Plays the Godfather

Thankfully, we didn't have to watch the Scrubs finale worrying whether anything left unanswered would never be resolved. We learned this week at NBC's schedule presentation that the show will be returning for its final season. Now that that worry was out of the way, we could move on more important nail-biting questions such as whether JD and Kim will make it work or if Eliot will decide if she's ready to marry Keith (probably not, but she needs to come to the conclusion herself). And just because the writers like to toy with us, we had an episode ending moment that will leave us pondering the future of all of these relationships, including the possibly rekindled JD and Eliot. I would love to see them end up together once they have both matured enough to handle a serious, committed relationship. Until then, it's fun to sit back and laugh at all the crazy things that happen in both of their lives, and those of rest of the characters of TV's best comedy. Last night, we had: Carla's Eliot Radar, JD constantly ditching Kim, the sad realization that Kokomo, where "we'll get there fast, and then we'll take it slow," only exists in the minds of The Beach Boys, Eliot's obsession with Ronnie's mother stories, Turk's Ugly Betty picture, the new term "Coxian" - a clever combination of Cox and Dorian, Eliot's control freak bachelorette party, Dr. Cox's desperation to get JD to relinquish his godfather role, JD and Turk finishing each other's sentences, Janitor's Brain Trust, and Ted channeling Eliot. There were far too many laughs for a half hour, so the network was kind enough to give us a full one, which means this week's edition of The Scrubies is SUPERSIZED! And now for the final time this season, here's a look at last night's best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this super-sized edition of the Scrubies...

The Scrubies!!!

"Pregnant women are among a select group of people who are actually allowed to act insane much like sports mascots, local weather men, theme park performers and that guy with the question mark jacket who teaches people how to get free money from the government." Dr. Cox to JD after learning what Kim did to him

"Let me phrase my response in the form of a riddle: What's black and white and should never ever, ever be allowed inside of a hospital?" Dr. Cox to JD and Turk after JD ask for his advice on a case

"It's got to have a bathroom with a bidet because I can not wear my going out thong if I have sand in my patootie." Eliot to JD while they were researching honeymoon locales online

"I've seen The Wiggles live in concert. Twice." Dr. Cox to JD regarding how a baby changes everything in your life
"Did they perform 'Big Red Car'?" Turk to Dr. Cox
"They opened and closed the show with it. It was awesome." Dr. Cox

"Keith, it's impossible to fit all of the Dudemeisters at one table without our wedding looking like Octoberfest! Plus, when our families met last month, my mom ended up doinking your Uncle Ronald in our basement." Eliot to Keith on why their families can't sit together at the wedding

"Jordan, here's some things I'd rather see happen then dinkus over there becoming the godfather: a nuclear war, a sequel to 'Hope Floats,' Hugh Jackman winning an Oscar..." Dr. Cox
"Yeah, yeah. Funny long list. We get it. You need a new thing, big guy." Dr. Kelso interrupting

"What, you gonna get all up in Jesus' face cause he don't have his shirt on?" Turk to Carla after she got mad at him for wearing a bloody scrub top to Dr. Cox's daughter's christening


Well there you have it - the last edition of the Scrubies of the season. But don't worry because when Scrubs returns next season, so too will the Scrubies. If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, be sure to leave me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition. If you missed this hilarious outing, check it out on iTunes. The picture in this edition is courtesy of nbc.com.

Be sure to pick up your copy of the 5th season of Scrubs on DVD this Tuesday (5/22)!!

Eliot's Rules of Engagement

JD has always been one of those people who wants something until he gets it. This is particularly true when it comes to Eliot, so it's no surprise that he now finds himself in the awkward position of feeling sorry for himself while his best friend is floating on cloud 9 (and why cloud 9, by the way? Why not 8 or 10 or even 2??). I'd feel sorry for him except he's the one who had Eliot and dumped her like she never even mattered. Foolish, foolish boy. Anyway, there were plenty of funny things to distract us from JD's pity party (which, BTW, had a fabulous soundtrack - more on that later). We had Eliot planning her own perfect engagement, Jordan's Botox-ed armpit (no sweat!), the "John Dorian 3 Step Seduction Plan," everyone's images of marrying Eliot, JD's non-twin, and Janitor's "God is watching" trick. Now, here's a look at the best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this week's edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"Just get the mother-frickin' ring on my mother-frickin' finger! Frick, frick, frick!!" Eliot to Keith after the engagement ring didn't fit

"Sorry to hear about your placing second in the Dr. Reid-a-thon." Dr. Kelso to JD after hearing about Eliot's engagement

"Sadly, it's only in the movies where the pretty girl ends up with the ug-o." Dr. Kelso to JD regarding Eliot

"If you weren't emotionally ready, would you want to have sex?" Carla to Turk
"Baby, I don't even understand the question." Turk

"Look when people get old, there are certain things they're no longer able to do like drive a car over 20 mph or smell like the living, but one thing they damn sure can do is have sex until they croak." Dr. Cox to Eliot after she's shocked to learn that her two elderly patients have syphilis

That's this week's edition of the Scrubies. If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, drop me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition. As always, if you would like to discuss this week's Scrubs episode, leave me a comment with your thoughts. If you missed this hilarious outing, check it out on iTunes.

That awesome track at the end of the episode (during Eliot's second engagement) was Dashboard Confessional's "Stolen." You can get it at iTunes.


Veronica Needs Your Help!! Click HERE to find out what you can do to help Veronica Mars get another season.

'Scrubs' Matures... Sort of

More than any other show on television, I think I'd like to be friends with the characters on Scrubs. They seem like a fun, crazy bunch that would always make life interesting. Take JD acting like a 15-year old girl when he got jealous over the time that Eliot was spending with her sorority siste or Turk's incessant need to get Dr. Cox. Yet somewhere in between all the fun immaturity lies their more adult side like Keith's decision to ask Eliot to marry him or Dr. Cox's moment when he stood up for Turk. And these weren't the only great moments from last night's outing. There was the game of macaroni, a tornado (complete with a flying cow) caused by Eliot and her sorority sister's screaming, Turk's Booty Breakdown, the ghost who haunts pediatrics, JD's $100 appletini, and Turk's trick on Dr. Cox complete with a group bow. Now, here's a look at the best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this week's edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"Lloyd, you're 40 years old and a delivery man, so you should be suffering from a pretty severe case of the Where-did-I-go-wrong-sies." Dr. Cox to his patient

"Now it's really over." Turk to Dr. Cox while they were sending their hypochondriac patient back and forth
"Oh yeah? What'd you do, kill him?" Dr. Cox

"You know what? I'm going to pay 100 dollars for that appletini. I like you. You're a good bar man. You never tease me when I order the tinis." JD to the bartender when he had to pay with a hundred dollar bill and the bar didn't have enough change

That's this week's edition of the Scrubies. If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, drop me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition. As always, if you would like to discuss this week's Scrubs episode, leave me a comment with your thoughts. If you missed this hilarious outing, check it out on iTunes.


Veronica Needs Your Help!! Click HERE to find out what you can do to help Veronica Mars get another season.

'Scrubs' Lets us Hear from the Supporting Players

You know, it never would have occurred to me that listening to The Todd, Jordan and Ted narrate an episode of Scrubs would be funny. Clearly, this is the reason why I don't write for this always-original show. Pretty much everything in The Todd's head was hilarious, while Jordan's was insightful and Ted's, well, was about as pathetic as we expected. But it wasn't just the break in the narration format that made this one lots of fun. We also had the exciting news that The Todd decided to go into plastic surgery (how apropos), Dr. Kelso's Needle Day, Eliot's do-it-yourself stripper pole, Ted's insanely hot coffee and the brilliant narration about it, The Todd's high-5 inner process, Janitor's tanning light at Sacred Heart, and The Todd's emotional flash with his "son" Rod. Now, here's a look at the best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this week's edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"It doesn't matter that he's a dude. People should know, you're well-endowed." The Todd (narration) to himself after telling the Coffeebucks employee that everything on The Todd is jumbo

"I know this is a slow down, but I can't really work any slower than I normally do, so I pretty much have to come to a complete stop." Janitor to Dr. Kelso after the nurses decided to stage a "Slow Down" until Kelso met their salary demands

"Perry, I think there's something wrong with me." Jordan
"Now that is the understatement of this still very young century." Dr. Cox

"Oh yeah! Suck it, bitch! I will murder you!!" Ted (narration) to Dr. Kelso

That's this week's edition of the Scrubies. If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, drop me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition. As always, if you would like to discuss this week's Scrubs episode, leave me a comment with your thoughts. If you missed this hilarious outing, check it out on iTunes.


Veronica Needs Your Help!! Click HERE to find out what you can do to help Veronica Mars get another season.

Eliot Gets Her Caboodle in Gear

One thing is certain when it comes to Scrubs: the show does drama as well as it does comedy. This week's outing managed to blend the two to give us an excellent half-hour that dealt with the continued aftermath of Laverne's sudden death. It's never easy to lose a beloved character, but the writers knew the exact dose of comedy to help ease and honor her death. In fact, this one was loaded with funny moments: JD's celebration to "It's a Beautiful Morning" after Jordan agreed to name her daughter Jennifer Dylan (JD), Ted's band fighting over why the church choir at the funeral sounds better than they do, JD's imaginary funeral complete with that hug he has always wanted, Dr. Cox's 20 minutes for himself, the revelation that Janitor knows sign language, Eliot's decision to use the word "caboodle" instead of a$$, JD and Turk's sign language plan at the movies, and Dr. Kelso watching (and commenting) on Eliot and Keith. Now, here's a look at the best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this week's edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"I don't want to do Britney and KFed anymore. Ever since the divorce, it's too sad." Keith to Eliot regarding their role playing

"It's a new word I'm trying out to replace ass. I have loose morals and I'm living in sin, so still hoping that not being a potty mouth will get me into heaven." Eliot on why she's using the word "caboodle"

"Before I disappear for 20 minutes, I want to make sure all my patients are alive. A simple 'Still here' will suffice. Sound off like you got a pair." Dr. Cox to his patients

"I'm glad it's not Marg. It would not end well. Hell hath no fury like a Helgenberger scorned." Ted (regarding actress Marg Helgenberger) after thinking that Dr. Cox's "starts with an M and ends with an R" clue was referring to the CSI actress

"You know Carla, sometimes you can be a real caboodle-hole!" Eliot to Carla after she told her that she's afraid to love Keith

"If one more person interrupts my 'me time,' I'm going to go ahead and get a tattoo of my hand giving the middle finger on the back of my head." Dr. Cox to Dr. Kelso

That's this week's edition of the Scrubies. If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, drop me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition. As always, if you would like to discuss this week's Scrubs episode, leave me a comment with your thoughts. If you missed this hilarious outing, check it out on iTunes.


Veronica Needs Your Help!! Click HERE to find out what you can do to help Veronica Mars get another season.