JD Becomes a Big Daddy

The real world prevented me from writing about last week's fabulous season premiere, so this edition of The Scrubies will be super-sized!! But before we get to those, first we need to discuss tonight's hilarious outing. Anyone married/in a serious relationship in their 20s or 30s knows that boys er... men love to play their video games. They'll play them well into the night. They lose large chunks of time. They neglect their significant others until they conquer that one game. Then it ends until they find the next game to take on. Ladies, Carla feels your pain. How funny was that Turk story line tonight?? He was so obsessed and it turns out, Carla was so focused on forgetting that game forever after it overtook her life a few months ago. It even served as Turk and JD's form of "exercise" when JD needed to clear his head about Kim. Too funny. We also had Turk's excitement over becoming a "Bluncle" (black uncle), JD's vision of Men at Work's "Land Down Under," Laverne's "cameo" ("She looks familiar"), Janitor's need for motivation for killing the aliens on the video game, and Dr. Cox's obsession with finding someone else to give his daughter a shot so she wouldn't forever associate him with pain. Now, here's a look at this week's (and last week's) best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this week's edition of the Scrubies.

The Scrubies
"I would Turkelton, but I only play Pac-Man and that carjack game. There's nothing like scoring a Caddy and mowing down street hoes." Dr. Kelso to Turk regarding video games

"Oh, thank you Perry-much!" JD (narration) after Perry enters and saves him from a conversation with Kim

"I would give her a shot, Perry, but this is Scotch and I'm all Hasselhoff-ed out." Dr. Kelso to Dr. Cox

"Fine. But if you use the words 'Emotional Rollercoaster,' I am O-U-T." Dr. Cox to JD
"Deal. I just feel like I'm on this, like, emotional....ride of some sort." JD


The Scrubies (Season Premiere Edition)
"Keith?! Wait, I was already surprised out loud." JD (narration) after repeating himself

"And then Carla was like, 'What about Junior Mints?' and I was like, 'Junior Mints??!! Baby, if I want my candy to freshen my breath, I'd just slap some toothpaste on a Whatchamacallit bar and go to town on that bad boy!'" Turk to Eliot on his difficult candy bar decision

"I've decided to start calling everyone 'Sports Fans.' Yeah, I know I'm not exactly the jockey type, but I watched Hoosiers last night and I like sports now." JD to the Sacred Heart staff

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first annual Sacred Heart Who Caresies Awards designed to honor those people who believe that others actually give a rat's ass about the minutiae of their lives." Dr. Cox to the staff after JD announces that he has almost gone an entire day without sabotaging himself

"The weird thing was, I think we all really wanted to win." JD (narration) in response to the Who Caresies

"Suck on that Tony Shaloub!" JD (narration) after imagining himself winning a Who Caresies Award