'Scrubs' Brings Out the Old Ball and Chain

Last week, Dr. Kelso retired on his terms (thankfully he made an appearance, although brief, in tonight's episode). This week, Dr. Cox inherited his position, problems and paperwork. Oh, I think I'm going to enjoy Chief Dr. Cox. Even if I hadn't laughed watching him simultaneously bask in his new title (complete with a power trip) and lament the extra work it creates, there were plenty of other funnies to keep me laughing. We had: Dr. Kelso's office being used as "The Brain Trust Clubhouse," Turk's implant, "Ball Mart," Elliot's sorority nickname (CDC = Crying Drunk Chick), Turk's mishap with the champaign bottle, Ted's flashback, JD's speaker prank at the fast food drive-thru, Janitor and Ted's sitcom Legal Custodians, Ted growing a pair and revolting (which led to his own Brain Trust), and probably a host of other funny things that happened during the first couple of minutes when my local station mistakenly ran ER instead of Scrubs, realized their mistake and abruptly cut into Scrubs (sadly, NBC actually OWNS my local NBC!). But, I digress. And now, here's this week's best, funniest and all around awesome lines in this edition of the Scrubies. And since I was out of town last week, this means a double dose of Scrubies for you guys this week!

The Scrubies
"Wow. That takes a lot of ball." JD to Turk (in reference to his recent testicle removal)

"Is it because your balance is off? I didn't want to say anything, but you have been turning left more often than usual." JD to Turk after finding out that Turk's getting a testicular implant

"I've gotta stop with the long fantasies. They're never worth it." JD regarding his overactive imagination

"I can't help but go to a dark place, you know? We're already blessed with this beautiful, healthy daughter, but what if the amnio comes back and it's the worst possible news - it's another girl." Turk to Dr. Cox on the possibility of having a second child

"I'm just doing this thing where I use a slice of wisdom from someone else's life to solve a problem in my own life." JD to Dr. Cox and Jordan
"Seems coincidental." Jordan
"And yet, I do it almost every week." JD

"I mean so psyched, that I even caused some Middle Eastern man to get kidnapped and driven away. Which is probably the exact sort if thing he came to this country to avoid." Elliot to JD regarding their drive-thru prank


And Here Are Last Week's Scrubie Recipients
"Oh my god! That was amazing! I never felt so alive in my whole life!" JD to Turk after the two of them played a little trick on Dr. Cox (who was having a bad day because he couldn't diagnose his patient)
"My heart stopped for a second!" Turk to JD
"We made it. I love you man!" JD to Turk
"I love you too!" Turk to JD

"I keep thinking about Kelso. He reminds me of my grandpa. He's perv-y, demeaning, and an insy bit racist, but you crave his love anyway because he smells like peppermint." Elliot to Carla regarding Dr. Kelso's forced retirement

"That's terrific because I'm so darn lost I just keep procrastinating. I check my email. I pick up a copy of Us Weekly to see which of my favorite celebs is bringing back the fedora. It's Johnny Depp, by the way." Dr. Cox to JD and Turk after they say they're going to help him diagnose his patient

"Turk, focus. We're being insulted! I'm tired of you not focusing when someone insults us. It ends up all on me!" JD to Turk

If you have a line that you would like to nominate for a Scrubie, be sure to leave me a comment and I'll publish it in a future edition.

Catch up on this and other outings of Scrubs with full-length, free episodes at Hulu.com.