Ullman's 'State': Best Bits

By LillyKat
PTR Senior Staff Writer

Borrowing from Gossip Girl: OMFG.

Ullman was on absolute fire this week. She had me in tears twice. This week's best bits:

- Another mutiny on JetBlue: "In Chicago, a JetBlue flight headed for Tampa has been on the runway for 12 hours." And the passengers are getting restless. Let's roll. Full disclosure: I love JetBlue. If I could fly JetBlue everywhere, I would. Are you kidding? DirecTV screens in every seat, Business Class legroom without the Business Class price. BUT ... I do know they got reamed for their whole 80,000 hour, keep-the-passengers-prisoner routine in the Perfect Storm Winter of 2007. To be fair, what the heck is with the FAA rule prohibiting planes from returning to the terminal once they've been cleared for departure but of which CAN GO NOWHERE because Blizzard Bertha has shutdown the airport? Hello? Is this one? Ullman turned that one into a priceless sketch without the blizzard.

- 60 Minutes' Andy Rooney: Is he 117 years-old-now, or ...? Clearly, he knows what to do with a pencil. And marker. Computer not so much. Suggestive convulsing hand gestures not withstanding.

- Cameron Diaz: So burpalicious promoting her Oscar-buzz worthy Terrible Time of the Month film (where does Ullman get these names ... hysterical). Anyhooo, the film is some sort of pseudo-Charlie's Angels action flick to rescue women in Africa facing ... well, a certain unpleasant change to their womanhood. Does Diaz really burp that much? And if so, isn't there a prescription for that? There's a great Bollywood pharmacist who can make sure she understands the side effects.

... and this week's winner ...

- CNN Reporter Campbell Brown: "Horror. Fear. Terror. Nightmare. Disaster. Catastrophe. Terror. Fear. Back to you, Brian." OMFG. I am still laughing today at this one. Why is it that our broadcast journalists seem to have this thing for forecasting the end of the world each night at 6:30 p.m.? Suffice it to say that, as far as Ullman is concerned, Brown is the Debbie Downer of Reporters. And she's got a plethora of material with which to work. Too. Flipping. Funny.

New episodes of Tracey Ullman's State of the Union air Sundays at 10 p.m. on Showtime. Even if you don't get Showtime, you can catch up on all the goods over at the show's official Web site.